All these seem to start with this line..... it's been a while. Maybe I should start getting things done and begin blogging again regularly. My last blog was very downhearted and I'm happy to report.... I'm past that now :).
Soooooo..... what's been going on, here goes.....
My last blog was very brief as in what was going on, and for my own sanity it had to be. During that month I had made one of the hardest decisions of life, that decision was to end a pregnancy, one of which my other half wanted to continue with. With University, my children that are born and everything else in my life I just didn't feel like I could do it.... I know I made the right decision for me. Not many people knew and a few that did weren't happy with my decision. However now that me and my partner have separated I know in my heart I made the best choice for my life. To the people that supported me - thank you - it meant alot.
I know, I know you're gone, I know I'll see you again
One thing that I can promise, that we gon' meet up again
Hopefully up in heaven, prayin' that I'm forgiven
For everything that I've done,
and everything I forgot to mention
Now then, for once in my life (maybe twice) I'm utterly happy with life, University is going well; well as well as possible, failing exams, passing the modules.... swings and roundabouts, I'm alone and loving the fact there's no-one to answer to, no-one to have a go at me, no-one to have to worry about. I'm finally doing me (in a non-sexual thinking of myself way.... dirty minds)! Bliss!!!!! I miss the babies still but I'm keeping focused and knowing that this is for our future keeps me positive.
Not having any man in my life has given me so much time on my hands and it's been filled with job applications, essays & my lovely friends. I love them <3 Today I got a placement in a school as a Teaching Assistant and I'm ecstatic about it..... scared as hell though!! I'm worrying about what to wear, down to whether I'm able to have painted nails :/ this is all a new world for me, and I feel like I'm stepping off the end of a cliff into an abyss. Some bugger better be at the bottom to catch me.
As it's lent (Easter yayyyyyyyy) I've decided to follow religion and give something up - opting for sex. I'm cheating really because I've not really been near anyone since my ex so it seems easy to me.... all I need now is for a guy to come along and mess it up... I'm on day 2 or 3 (no idea which) only 27 more to go!!! Yes I will do this :).
Some people have however been invading my brain and although I vow to stay a 'man free zone' there are a few people that genuinely make me smile at the moment.... it's nice to have that attention I guess even if there's never any intention from them. Everybody likes having that person to talk to about nothing.
I've fallen for your eyes
But they don't know me yet
My eyes are a river filler,
This drink is a liver killer,
Your chest is a pillow for my weary head to lay to rest again,
Your body is my ballpoint pen
And your mind is my new best friend,
Your eyes are the mirror to take me to the edge again
All in all life is on the up, I'm happy, I have my beautiful friends, my amazing children...... and who knows what else is coming my way.
I'm blessed.
