It's Been A Long Time....

I realised that last week and a half doing my blog everyday is impractical. My reasons for blogging everyday was because I had that much going on inside my head at one time I had to get it out, also I felt really lazy and was worried I'd forget how to write by the time I got back to Uni. So my blog-a-day rule has been totally abandoned now seen as I last blogged *thinks* a week and four days ago (when I say thinks I mean *checks phone calendar*) and SO much has happened. I've moved out of dilapidated Irwell much to my disappointment (actually no sarcasm). I really wanted to stay there as I felt like bing there was one of the main reasons for me doing so well in Uni, it was local, convenient and somewhere close enough to Uni where I could roll out of bed after a hard night of Pernod shots in town or a full night in the library getting in that stupid impossible assignment. I miss Irwell, okay it's scummy and I hate it when I'm there but it was my home for a year!!! Unfortunately there's no places left in Uni accommodation so I've had to move miles out to near the airport and I've just gotta wait and hear to see if those lovely 1st years drop out so I can have a house there!! Urgh. For now I'm staying with my Auntie and to be honest I love it. If it was close to Uni I'd stay here all the time. It's like home, real home when I lived with my Mum.... I wish she lived in the same city still!!

What else... I've been staying at the boyfs house, at first I was adamant that I didn't wanna go because I don't want to meet the parentals but with me so far now pickers can't be choosers and all that, it's the only time I get to see him overnight so it's gotta be done. They're nice though his parents so that makes it easier to want to go round and stay. I'm worried things are moving too fast with us now.... it's only been a month and I really like him.... maybe I should take a look at my ten rules from a few blogs before and calm the fuck down....

I ended up in town today at pretty much 7am because the boyf had work and I didn't want to wait at his till 5 so got the bus home. While I was on the bus I couldn't help but think that right now I'd be a month away from delivering my baby

They say everything happens for a reason, and people change like the seasons... they grow apart.

I have to keep thinking this otherwise I'd never get through the day plus I think I'm happier now than I was in February, actually not think, I know I'm happier now.... I finally have something I shouldn't let go of because he doesn't treat me like crap, talk to me like crap, accuse me of crap 24/7 or talk crap about me to his mates. He likes me for me. I actually never sit there thinking 'what if I was still pregnant where would me and him* be now' I just think 'If I was pregnant, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now, I wouldn't have my boyfriend, I wouldn't have this life'. I do occasionally think what would it be like right now but that's never to do with my ex, that's always to do with my child. October 13th - due date, October 7th - delivery date. The last time I'll let myself dwell on missing something I never had.  

They say everything happens for a reason and people change like the seasons.... they grow apart and if I'm honest I'm glad they did, you have to let old things go so new things can happen, let dead things die so new things can grow, let things go to see if they were worth holding onto....and they weren't. David has shown me that,

And I ain't too proud to tell you that I cry sometimes
I cry sometimes about it

I’ve been giving it some thought lately and frankly
I’m feelin’ like we ain't ready and it’s… hold up now
Let me finish
Think about it baby me and you we still kids ourself
How we gon' raise a kid by ourself?
Handle biz by ourself

I'm lucky to have what I have now, everything I ever wanted, let's just hope that familiarity doesn't breed contempt with him, I want to be treated like it was the first time he realised he wanted me, cute texts, status', the caring nature I'll fall for..... he knows this.... so he better do it!!!

Boy when I look in your eyes
I can’t help lose track of time
I know we’re young
But I gotta’ make you mine
And this is so unlike me
To fall so deep easily lets make it me and you
Baby let me make you mine