Nevermind I've Found Someone Better Than You.....

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
"I'll remember", you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead

What is it with Adele and her music? I remember when she first come out with 'chasing pavements' and I didn't rate her much but I've really grown to like her in the past two years. She was mine and an exs 'artist'. All her music just seemed to relate to everything that we were going through and consequently she brought out certain songs when it was relevant to us. 'Make You Feel My Love' became our song then she brought out 'Someone Like You' when we broke up and as the song says 'I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over' ironic I just turned up at his house and sorted stuff out with him after 2 months of no contact. So as you see she holds alot in her music to do with my past, now she has brought out 'Turning Tables' and again.... it seems relevant.

Under haunted skies I see you
Where love is lost your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no, I will never be knocked down
I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb I can't breathe
So, I won't let you close enough to hurt me,
No, I won't rescue you to just desert me
I can't give you the heart you think you gave me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables

I've heard alot in the past few days about me as a person and what I was like when I was with my ex and truth be told I didn't like what I heard. People I care about said I changed and that they didn't like it. I won't go into detail but bottom line is I was so wrapped up in my own life I failed to be there 100% for others and as people know that's not me. I guess it's hard to see that when you're in the situation because I never realised what I'd become but onwards and upward..... I'm back. 

I don't like writing about my ex, especially as my fella reads my blog, but the more I write about him, the more I realise how lucky I am to have the fella that I now have and how letting my ex go was the best decision for myself in both the short run and the long run also. My new fella has accepted my kids, something my ex didn't, he's accepted that I have a past, something my ex couldn't and he has even met the family.... something my ex wouldn't. He is utterly the best thing that could have ever happened to me.... I doubt that I would have ever thought that I could find someone like him, I didn't know men like him still existed nor that I deserved him. I probably don't deserve him, but I've got him and I'm not letting go. Its took him 18 months but yeah.... I kinda like him....alot.

Me and the fella don't have a 'song' infact I've just spend god knows how long looking about YouTube to see if I could find anything relevant but I'm a strong believer that you don't find yours and your partners 'song' but it finds you. I guess there are a lot of relevant songs for me and him, but none are mainstream and he wouldn't have ever heard them. 

I won't breathe until you just tell me everything is alright,

I am not scared of losing this

I'm afraid of losing you

I'm always telling him I'm scared of losing him, I never wanted him in my life and now he is I'm not sure how to deal with my feelings towards him at times and in my head I freak out but he's a good 'un and tells me 'everything is gonna be alright'.

Other news.... so there's a charity event next week for one of my friends who died, we wasn't as close as I am to some people but none the less, she's my special angel. I can't wait to get back together with everyone. It doesn't seem right now she's gone.... everyone has kinda grew apart and split up and to be honest I miss her lots, he crazy raving yellow ways.

What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.

Another turning point;

A fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.
It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.