Its Been A While...

Wow it's been ages since I last blogged and I must say quite a bit has happened. I skipped loads of stuff in my last blog because I was writing purely for the principle that I hadn't written in ages. I'd like to think I'm back into blogging now but I'm so scatty lately that I wouldn't rely on it. So last time I blogged me and my fella were a month into our relationship, it's nice to say we're still going strong. He gets more amazing by the day, don't get me wrong he has his off days but the days where he's really nice to me make up for the moody days and just lately theres so much more niceness than there is moodiness :). He's away on a lads weekend at the moment in Bratislava and its safe to say I'm a little lost without him, I normally see him every day... almost. Times apart give me time to re-evaluate our relationship and also my true feelings for it and where it's heading as well as where I would like it to go, he'll be like what the flip at this... don't worry Mr you're doing well.... so far. As I'm living with my auntie at the moment (long story) I do have the boredom edge slightly taken off which is nice, we spend alot of time spending money we don't have and discussing anything and everything -  including me and the other half. My Auntie reckons that this is the first time I've been with someone decent who hasn't treated me like shit and used me like a door mat in her opinion we are perfectly suited and get on better than I ever have with anyone, In her words we understand eachother, don't give a shit and can be ourselves with one another - this makes me really happy because that's what relationships are about. 

I guess I'm like every other girl in the world though, I have my worries, I worry he will meet someone else, I worry he will get bored, I worry something will ruin us, I obviously worry too much. I often find myself thinking where did his past relationships go wrong and what is it that makes him want one with me and also will me and him just end up going our separate ways after a few months. Ahhh my brain needs to STFU.

Sooooo Uni. I'm back in, had my first week last week and I loved it. It was great to be actively learning again and seeing everyone from last year must admit I've missed it. Moving into a new house on Wednesday too with two girls, not even met them yet although we've spoke in text/on facebook. They both seem lovely so I'm genuinely excited about moving in with them. Hopefully we will go on a few nights out seen as I didn't do anything for freshers!!! Eekkkk toooooo excited about it all, black, white and purple bedroom is gonna be happening too!!! Salford won't know whats hit it!!!

What else? The kids are back at school so it's back to missing them loads until the Christmas Holidays :(. I hate the fact that Uni has so little holidays but at the same time love the fact that the holidays we have are lengthy so that I can spend a decent amount of quality time with them back home before I go back. I love my kids so so much.

Would have also been baby beans arrival date on Thursday (I know the date due to planned C-section). Its amazing how much your life changes in a few months, I miss babybean and I do think 'what could have been' but I find it's not healthy to dwell on the past. it's the past for a reason so I'm looking forward to my future with my beautiful children and my wonderful man....

I found your hairband on my bedroom floor,
The only evidence that you've been here before
And I don't get waves of missing you anymore,
They're more like tsunami tides in my eyes
Never getting dry, so I get high, smoke away the day then I sleep with the light on
Weeks pass in the blink of an eye,
And I'm still drunk at the end of the night
I don't drink like everybody else, 

I do it to forget things about myself,
stubborn and forward the heads just block
My heads still with you but my hearts just not

So am I close to you anymore, now it's over
And there's no chance that we'll work it out
You and I ended over U N I