It's Not Hard To Fall, When You Float Like A Cannonball....

Okay I know, I know, its been two days right? Well after my last emotional blog I felt like a break was needed, I probably wouldn't have remembered to do tonights blog if it wasn't for the boyfriend. Yes that's right boyfriend. So me and the Mr made the step up from... well whatever we were before which, frankly, I don't really know what we were but we've now made it official. He texted me last Saturday and told me to effectively make us official, I replied with 'No', gotta love the banter. So it's my first relationship in a while now and I'm doing well in sticking to my rules from a few blogs ago, not that I remember them off my head, but bottom line.... don't be treated like a mug. He isn't what I expected him to be, to be fair I expected him to be a bit of a knob, but he isn't.... not yet at least :). Now I'm not gonna go into it like 'Oh I think he is the one, he's amazing' blah blah blah shit although yes he is amazing to me and also for me and talking long term doesn't scare him (I don't think so anyway seen as we can laugh and joke about it) but I won't go on and on (or try not to) because there's still time and even though right now I could never see him doing it, he could hurt me. I've been hurt too much to not think it now so it's day by day, step by step. I mean stuff could happen out of his control which means he can't be with me or whatever and I could get hurt that way, but whatever I'm rambling now. Who knows what the future holds. So I'm not gonna give him everything I have until I know and even then it's safer to keep one of your eggs in a separate basket right? I do like him though, I told him today 'on a scale of 1 to 10 based on how much I like you, you're on 5' he didn't take it as a compliment. My theory is, 1 is I like you, you're a mate and 10 is I possibly love you, being in the middle isn't a bad thing, its where all newbies start!! I do have to consider though, I'm at the age now where I'm not getting into a relationship because I'm bored or it's cool to have a boyfriend; I'll only get with someone if I think it'll be a long term thing, if I think that they are serious and aren't just going to piss me about, I consider him to be in that category I suppose (more like I hope) seen as he 'chased' me for an amount of time we cannot agree on (12-18months). Maybe he really will make me happy long term, maybe he won't...only he knows. 

Want to but I can't help it, I love the way you feel
Just got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real

 And I know this much is true
Baby you have become my addiction
I?m so strung out on you I can barely move
But I like it and it's all because of you

It was nothing but a quick thing kids games, 

Kiss chase, just a quick fling
Now i’m hoping you never go missing

The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I, I love it when you sing to me
And you, you can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know

I'm not doing a long blog today but finally I have to write that after my last blog I've been overwhelmed with the care that some people have shown me, I've received support from people I didn't even know still remembered my mum and me or even cared about anything in my life, I want to thank those people, people like you make me stronger and make me know that I have to carry on smiling but that I have someone to talk to when I can't really smile anymore. Thanks :')

If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.

Oh, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.